So here I am writing my first blog post, admittedly after reading Nick Krauser’s post here: http://krauserpua.com/2016/01/04/the-players-journey-blog/.
In summary, reading Krauser’s post has made me finally do something I planned on doing for a while but always managed to avoid for one poor reason or the other. So what’s with the change of heart? I’ve realised that I need to start following through on promises to myself. Allow me to explain.
Around two years ago I moved to London to see out a twelve month contract with a company which I was been obsessed about working for throughout university. Before this I lived where I live now in the north and didn’t know anybody in London, so I was pretty intimidated to move down. At the time I’d describe myself as a people pleaser and a nice guy but was always very shy and awkward around new people. I’d been with my girlfriend (the only girl I’d ever slept with) for close to four years. We were very close, had lived together throughout university and, in hindsight, were extremely codependent.
Long story short, I began to earn a bit of money and hang out with my new posh colleagues after work. My background was not the same as theirs and I already had my prejudices of “southerners” from university, who all seemed to “love the bants” and be irrationally entitled. I remember not really liking them to begin with but I knew nobody so felt I had no choice but to put up with their cockiness and “hilarious” stories, which I actually enjoyed after a few beers in Moorgate on a Thursday night. It was that or join city socialiser.
As the weeks and months went by I was drinking a lot as that’s how these guys socialised. I also started smoking cigarettes; something I doubt my friends could imagine me doing a few months prior. Combined with long hours in the office, a flirty and hot house mate who was catching my eye and my girlfriend living 2 hours 30 minutes away, I was beginning to lose interest in her. I saw a different side to the world I thought I knew so well, and it really appealed to me.
I didn’t have the balls to break up with her. One reason was because I genuinely wasnt comfortable talking to new people, let alone hot girls, so thought that I wouldn’t be able to get anybody else. That’s when I googled “dating advice for me”. Daygame.com came up, I started watching Yad’s and Tom’s infields and was hooked. I also saw a video Krauser did with London Real where he said he’d banged 50 girls from daygame. I was sold, but didn’t realise how hard it was going to be.
I cowardly strung my girlfriend along for three months before she told me to get lost, deleted my number and blocked me on Facebook. I definitely broke her heart and still feel terrible about the way I handled it today. But you live and learn.
So there I was in London, no girlfriend, work colleague “friends” who I only really had drinking in common with, but great motivation to game. Shame about the crippling approach anxiety.
I would game a few girls on nights out usually once my filters were completely removed due to drinking too much. This has been my tactic to today, with which I’ve had OK success by my standards. Here’s the current state of affairs:
- I’m back in my original hometown which has a population of around 300,000;
- I’m good at chatting to new people after a couple of pints, awkward to begging with when stone cold sober but get into it after a couple of minutes; something I couldn’t have done this time last year;
- I’ve slept with 7 girls and had 4 other near misses over the past 18 months;
- I’ve just broken up with a girl I was seeing casually for around 6 months and “exclusively” for around three months.
I put this down to a failure to take action, regularly, whilst sober. It’s frustrating as I’ve has CBT to treat OCD when I was younger and fundamentally understand that, for me at least, exposure to the source of my anxiety will reduce it over time, but I’m just crippled with it on the street.
Now is the time for me to take action. This blog will detail what happens each day I game over the coming months. I think that my academic knowledge of daygame is good – but that’s the point. I “think”. I don’t “know” it’s good.
Only one way to find out.
In my next post I’ll talk about what inner game stuff has helped me reduce my social anxiety before actually taking any action.